cold dark space

Looking up I can see the sky
Looking down I see an abyss
I’m holding on for dear life
But I’m starting to tire
I want out so desperately
But I need an extrinsic force
But I get none
I’m starting to wonder
How bad falling might be
Because I know I may
I am weak
I cannot get out alone
You are watching me from
Above
But you do not offer
Your hand
I could swear you are kicking dirt
Down on me

I lie in the darkness that is my life
No doors nor windows
Just dark blank walls.
Too close
I stretch my neck above the waters of my doubts and shame
That is drowning me, barely breathing
And the water is filling up
I fear drowning before anyone rescues me
I fear noone will find me
I fear no one wants to find me.
I want air. I want out.
But I don’t know my way out of this prison.
I fear loneliness.
It is empty. I am empty.
No one is here but me. Alone.
I want out. This place sucks me back in-even though I don’t know how to get out.
I am meant to be here, I fear.
I am nothing but a body drowning; no more, no less.
I hear my empty echoes crying into nothingness.
I am actions, but no feeling. I am nothing.
I just want to rest.
I cry, but I don’t even know why.
I am not a being, just a thought.
A waste.
A robot. And nothing is worse.